William Nawky Snowmobile Auction

Bar Ski

Personalities in Progress: A Ski Story

Crossing the New Jersey-Pennsylvania state line at the Delaware Water Gap, I paralleled the muddy-appearing Delaware River near the Appalachian Trail, the interstate narrowing to two lanes and shallowly ascending into the brown-treed, gray shale rock-covered Pocono Mountains.  The slender, finger-like white patterns representing the still-snow-covered ski trails of Camelback Mountain were now visible through the left car window. As the miles rolled by, I thought of the past two ski trips, trips which had been highlighted--perhaps "warped" is the better word--by the personalities of my group. Put them on skis and they excelled in more ways than you can imagine. Did I dare subject myself to them again? I could have turned round right now...

The descending, right-curving off-ramp led to my hotel, located four miles from Jack Frost Mountain, itself the converging point of my company's third annual ski trip.

We had consistently attempted to overnight in a different hotel property each year. It had nothing to do with variety, mind you, but instead the inescapable fact that the group's noise, rowdiness, and animalistic release had always banned their return. I had hoped that sufficient demand would prompt hotel construction in the area; otherwise, we would someday run out of locations--because, you see, they had not only shined on skies, but wherever we had stayed. Read on.

The setting sun released an orange bath into the dense, bare brown trees blanketing the area. It would not be long now.

At about 11:30 there began a series of uninterrupted door openings and closings down the hotel corridor which continued until almost sunrise, indicating that my "group" had arrived. I do not think the manufacturer of the door hinge itself had subjected them to such frequent testing before release to the public for sale. Oh, well, I had another look round my room, since it would be the last time I would see it. We would not be welcomed back here.

The night clerk quickly rethought his "nice" gesture of reopening the pool for the group when their excessive noise, the equivalent of a tribal, return-to-barbarism chant, had quickly forced him to oust them and re-close it.

The group had apparently collected numerous, hopelessly unmixable types of alcohol and proceeded to join their liquid forces together in a single glass under the collective name of "death"--with or without ice. It made no difference--except, perhaps, for those headed to a hot place on the way out.

Whaid, who barely returned a primordial grunt to my daily "hellos" at work, launched into an alcohol-induced, therapy-session-waiting-to-happen lament during the dark hours of the night in his hotel room, crying, "Nobody loves me" and followed it with a finger-pointing, broken-record monotone of "But I'll be there for you..."

"I'll be there for you..."

"I'll be there for you..."

The following day he had slouched into a Road Runner position on skis and had wizzed by someone who had fallen and obviously needed someone to be there for him. He wasn't.

Luckily, Munny, who devoutly lived by his "you need a hug" philosophy, had been in the room with him the previous evening to dry his tears.

Josue had apparently also "tasted" one of these liquid suicides. So intoxicated had he become, in fact, that Berqui had been forced to deposit him in the bathtub, where he had continued to sleep. It is a good thing that he had been the designated driver. I dare not look for adjectives to describe the conditions of the others.

Poor Dorit. The hotel's front desk, apparently pegging her as Mother Hen, had called her in the wee hours of the morning as she had finally drifted off to sleep and warned, "If you don't keep your boys quiet, I'll be forced to call the police!" If she had ever dreamt of having children, they were not them.

We had agreed to meet for breakfast at 8:00 and bleary-eyed Dorit, Rocio, and Ronald had walked into the hotel's breakfast room at this time. The other dozen, having only fallen asleep three hours earlier, would be lucky to make it by noon.

Completing the five-minute drive down deserted Route 940 from the hotel on that cold, clear morning after a brief pause to allow the night's collected windshield ice to melt, I had been among the first to arrive at Jack Frost Mountain. The lodge, the same one used the previous year, had already taken on signs of our pending invasion, with food and drink lining the outside deck and the inside bar, and the fireplace having been recently stacked with logs and lit. There he stood inside it, the Mike, nucleus of the annual event.

The room had otherwise been quiet, a calm before the storm, although with the night the group had had it would most likely remain so for several hours.

Taking the opportunity to have a look round, I walked through the main lodge and out the door to the snow-covered slopes and rotating chair lifts, which echoed the events and the personalities of the previous year. Moving my head to the right, I saw it. There it stood, like a monument to a person who had discovered the most innovative use of an object connected to skiing, wind-swept and nestled in the snow. A small placard atop it had read:

PICNIC TABLE RESERVED FOR: SIDONIE

With all the time she had spent at it last year, despite her "splinter issues," I had fully expected her to have run a line out to it and to have set up a computer--not to mention a small filing cabinet. I was sure that she had intermittently hired and brought an administrative assistant this year for her outdoor "office."

A petite woman, releasing a low, staccato cough, skied by and the sound instantly transported me back to our first ski tip and little Moniquita. One should not be misled by a person's small size. Lurking behind it can be a personality more powerful than an atom bomb, which, come to think of it, had been a pretty accurate analogy of her. She had, however, been like many other things:

Like a rocket on the launch pad in Florida waiting for someone to push her "take off" button.

Like the eruption in the core of Mount St. Helens in the state of Washington.

Like the hot section of a high bypass ratio turbofan engine powering a 747.

Like the poblano pepper in every hot tamale.

Like the circular wind in every tornado.

Like the chaos caused by the universe's Big Bang, played in reverse.

Like the fire in the earth's inner core.

Like the nightmare from which one cannot awake, but if one succeeds in doing so, he only finds her in the room with him.

Like Leona Helmsley with a Spanish accent.

One day at work, one of Monica's employees had walked into the office and explained, "Monica sent me to get some reports."

"Sent?" I had intoned. "Monica never sends anyone! Shoots out of a cannon, maybe!"

People express their personalities differently. Ricky, for instance, who had attended last year, seemed to assert himself with repetition. Indeed, his two-word question of "What happened? seemed to replace the need for all other words in the English language.

"What did you eat last night, Ricky?"

"What happened?"

"What time did you get up this morning, Ricky?"

"What happened?"

"Are you enjoying your ski day, Ricky?"

"What happened?"

I had once been cooped up with him in a small room when he had been a student in one of my classes and by the end of the third day they had taken me away in a straight jacket! I can only wonder what he will be like when he is 80 and his hearing begins to decline

I had regretted that some of our colleagues, whom we had known for so long that they had become virtual relatives, would be unable to attend this year, such as Uncle Omar, admittedly a slightly older, burpy type whose idea of a strenuous evening began with a strong laxative, and Auntie Omiamalie, whose frustrated desire for the nice things in life had often surfaced with the first words she had taught any maturing, aspiring young woman, that most important of all success-promoting phrases: "Daddy, I need a credit card!" In fact, if she had ever aspired to become a language teacher, she had once explained, she would make sure that these would be the first words her students would translate.

Making the short drive from the hotel to the ski lodge later that morning (I guess 11:55 can still be considered "morning"), the group arrived, carrying lipstick red-eyed Josue from the dirt parking lot to the lodge like paramedics (a stretcher is already on next year's "Mandatory Supply" list) and depositing him on the couch in front of the fireplace.

Spreading his legs apart as if he had been about to give birth, he slumped into a virtual comma. He later confessed that the only thing he had remembered about the ride had been the wind returning his involuntary vomitary to him as he had poked his head through an open window. He had also expressed regret that Annie had been unable to join us on the ski trip this year, although she had sat across from him for two hours. (!)

By 2:00, the only ski-related accomplishment he had made had been to attach his ski pass to his coat. He had then lapsed into a second nap in order to recover from the effort. The slopes closed at 4:00.

After last year's torture, I had decided to engage in that ski activity in which I excelled--instruct. David, who had never before attempted the frictionless dare, wondered, "Since you skied last year, I wonder if you could give me some pointers to promote safety?"

I paused for a moment and looked down, wondering if the other "ski" event he referred to could have been last year's crippled careen between picnic tables, remembering the feeling of having stood on two flat, elongated, highly-polished pieces of wood which had offered less friction than a baby's thoroughly-oiled bottom on a surface of frozen, white, nightmarish snow, my feet held hostage by two crushing, hard-sided, impenetrable boots which had severed all connection with the outside oxygen and my circulation. I had seriously needed to re-examine my life's direction. He had actually wanted to volunteer for an activity like this, I had wondered? He would have had better odds with the drink called "death."

"Well," I had hesitated. "I do have some safety-related ski tips for you based on my experience."

"What?" he had eagerly wanted to know, craning his neck toward me.

"If you want to ski in total safety," I had slowly shared with him, "whatever you do, don't leave the building!" Which is exactly what Sidonie did.

In fact, Sidonie had worked up more of a sweat walking between her seat and the ladies' room in the lodge this year than she had on her skis outside of it last year. I love a kindred, although cowardly spirit, and I followed right behind her to the men's room. This was a true "cross country." It is a shame that the others will never know what they had missed!

I hope that Jenner had enjoyed herself. She had sat across from Sidonie, partaking of the "lunch" she had brought for everyone (the equivalent of a full aisle at the Stop-and-Shop and one which had induced me to dig for discount coupons), and did not utter a single "lovely" the entire day--the equivalent of a pulse for everyone else and therefore fully categorizable as one of her "vital signs."

Damian, wearing his usual aloof, inter-planetary expression, frequently made shopping trips down this food aisle, constantly carrying piled-high plates. He had spent considerable time outside skiing, and had vastly improved over last year (for which I had hated him).

"My, you have quite an appetite, Damian," I had observed.

"Well, skiing makes you hungry, Robert," he had returned. "Besides, you know what they say: you should get your eight."

"Those are hours of sleep, Damian," I had corrected, "not meals per day!"

As Sidonie and Jenner ate, I could only think that they had clung to the picnic table on skis last year and would not leave the lodge this year. I wondered if they would actually get out of the car next year.

Ecaterinata, arriving in the early afternoon and remembering my undying love for the sport, caught me walking across the snow with a short set of skis in my arms for seven-year-old Julia.

"You finally found a small enough pair you're comfortable with?" she had inquired. Even these I would not put on, I thought, but quickly grew angry that I had not thought of this option last year.

Adam, the singular source of the elongated drive because of his hopelessly inadequate ability to follow directions two years ago, had left the company, but had returned for this year's ski event. He had intermittently trained for a position as a pilot specializing in navigation.

During the day on the advanced slope, he had sprained his groin and walked bow-legged for the remainder of it, as if he had carried some invisible basketball between his legs. (!)

Munny, only 20, had since turned into manager, father (of this staff), and workaholic, careening, like Adam, down the advanced slope, but with a pole in one hand, conducting business with his cell phone in the other, and projecting a smoke-puffing cigarette from his mouth in between. I can only wonder what he will be like when he is 50.

Andy (that is his last name--his first name is "Handy") equally made his first foray into skiing, but had consistently experienced difficulty in stopping, and therefore often did so by means of the building in front of him. In fact, at times, he had appeared like a human pinball, bouncing from one wall to another. I had told him that skis were not equipped with brakes. If they had been, I may have put one on myself this year. (I said "one," not "one pair!")

Andy had not been the only one to use existing obstructions to his advantage, although I still cannot, at this writing, understand the reversed sequence of events. Most people hit a tree while skiing and fall. Little Lauralitta had apparently fallen into the snow and collided with a tree branch upon getting up, her ponytail bobbing behind her head like a spring-loaded doll. For the remainder of the day she walked round with a dazed look and the permanent imprint of an oak on her forehead.

As I had passed Ronald, I had found him virtually upside-down in a ravine, skis and poles dangling from him like the outstretched tentacles of an octopus, and yelled, somewhat in panic, "Ronald, are you all right?"

"I'm fine!" he had yelled back. "I think I'm getting the hang of it!"

I wonder if it had been an inflated ego or sheer delusion.

How, you may ask, could I have witnessed all of these events when I had, in fact, never donned a single pair of skis? Let's put it this way: the love of short, stubby, concrete-gripping shoes. I had total freedom, running after everyone like Father Goose, instructing, warning, extracting from the snow.

As the sun had begun to inch toward the west on that crisp, blue mid-March day, the Jack Frost staff had equally begun to close the resort for the night, forcing the remaining skiers to return to the lodge, who had passed Josue walking in the opposite direction toward the ski rental shack.

Steam rose from the chafing dishes lining the bar, and the obligatory group photograph back-dropped by the company logo signaled the end to another ski adventure.

As the Pocono Mountains receded behind me during the drive from Pennsylvania to New York that evening, I had concluded that travel usually brought out the best in people. That concept did not seem to apply to my group--unless this had been their best! Ah, but I had breathed a sigh and thought positively, hoping that they would someday develop into fine, "normal" people.

Someday, I would also become a full-fledged, Olympic Gold Medal skier. I wonder which of the two should be given the better odds…?

About the Author

A graduate of Long Island University-C.W. Post Campus with a summa-cum-laude BA Degree in Comparative Languages and Journalism, I have subsequently earned the Continuing Community Education Teaching Certificate from the Nassau Association for Continuing Community Education (NACCE) at Molloy College, the Travel Career Development Certificate from the Institute of Certified Travel Agents (ICTA) at LIU, and the AAS Degree in Aerospace Technology at the State University of New York – College of Technology at Farmingdale. Having amassed almost three decades in the airline industry, I managed the New York-JFK and Washington-Dulles stations at Austrian Airlines, created the North American Station Training Program, served as an Aviation Advisor to Farmingdale State University of New York, and devised and taught the Airline Management Certificate Program at the Long Island Educational Opportunity Center. A freelance author, I have written some 70 books of the short story, novel, nonfiction, essay, poetry, article, log, curriculum, training manual, and textbook genre in English, German, and Spanish, having principally focused on aviation and travel, and I have been published in book, magazine, newsletter, and electronic Web site form. I am a writer for Cole Palen’s Old Rhinebeck Aerodrome in New York. I have made some 350 lifetime trips by air, sea, rail, and road.

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Pestana Bariloche Ski And Golf $296 Located in Bariloche, Pestana Bariloche Ski And Golf is in the mountains and close to Cerro Otto Cable Car. Additional area points of interest include Civic Center Bariloche and Cerro Catedral. Hotel Features. Pestana Bariloche Ski And Golf features a restaurant and a bar/lounge. The hotel serves a complimentary buffet breakfast. Recreational amenities include an outdoor pool, an indoor pool, a health club, a fitness facility, and a children's club. This 4.5 star property has a business center and offers a meeting/conference room and audio visual equipment. Complimentary wireless and wired high speed Internet access is available in public areas. This Bariloche property has event space consisting of banquet facilities and conference/meeting rooms. Guest parking is complimentary. Guestrooms. 23 air conditioned guestrooms at Pestana Bariloche Ski And Golf feature minibars and safes. Cable television is provided.

KidSki Kid-Ski Instructional DVD $14.95 The DVD is highly recommended. It is instructional, demonstrational and informational. Reviewing the DVD will definitely help you short-cut your childs learning experience. It is intended for parents, not the children. Contents of the DVD: Introduction by Andy Mill, former member of the U.S. Ski Team What is KiD-SKi? At What Age should you Start your Child Skiing? A. Fundamentals of Beginning Ski Technique Body Position Balance & Edge Pressure B. Proper Use of the KiD-SKi Teaching Aids How to Use the Teaching Aids When to Use the Teaching Aids C. Ski Equipment for Kids Skis (lengths), Boots, Poles D. Proper Clothing Dress for Success

Le Ski Dor $293.47 Le Ski Dor > TGF > Val Claret > Tignes > > 73320>Location. This spa property is located in Tignes, close to Espace Killy Ski Resort. Features. Le Ski Dor has a steam room, a sauna, and ski in/ski out access. This 4.0 star Tignes property features spa services. Business amenities include wireless Internet access, meeting rooms for small groups, and business services. Le Ski Dor has a restaurant and a bar/lounge. Guests are served a complimentary breakfast each morning. Room service is available during limited hours. Event facilities at this 4.0 star property consist of conference rooms and banquet facilities. Guestrooms. Amenities featured in guestrooms include complimentary bottled water. Business friendly amenities include desks and direct dial phones. Bathrooms provide bathrobes and hair dryers. Notifications and Fees: The following mandatory hotel imposed fees are charged and collected by the hotel either at check in or check out. A city/local tax will be charged The above list may not be comprehensive. Mandatory hotel imposed fees may not include tax and are subject to change. Additional fees and deposits may be charged by the property at time of service, check in, or check out. >The preferred airport for Le Ski Dor is Lyon (LYS Saint Exupery) 146.2 km / 90.9 mi. Distances are calculated in a straight line from the property’s location to the point of interest or airport and may not reflect actual travel distance. Distances are displayed to the nearest 0. 1 mile and kilometre.

Hotel Magic Ski, Andorra $56 This ski hotel, which was opened in 2006, consists of a total of 84 rooms on 5 floors of which 12 are double rooms, 21 are triple rooms, 41 sleep 4 persons and 2 sleep 5 persons, as well as 8 suites. This hotel features a foyer with a reception desk manned around the clock, a lift, a lounge a WLAN zone, public Internet access, a bar, a restaurant as well as parking (charges apply) and a garage for those arriving by car.

Atomic USB Single Ski Sleeve $34.95 The Atomic USB Single Ski Sleeve offers unpadded protection for one pair of skis up to 195 cm in length. Durable and economical, the Atomic USB Single Ski Sleeve features a easy slide-in system that makes the Atomic USB Single Ski Sleeve convenient and super easy to use. Features: Easy Slide-In system Adjustable length Accommodates skis up to 195 cm Dimension: 206 cm x 34 cm Item code: AL5000530 View more Atomic products.

Topics Entertainment Ski Mayhem DVD $10 Ski Mayhem, the sickest, most twisted outtake reel of ski tricks gone horribly wrong. When these top professional skiers push the envelope to commit their most radical exploits to film, sometimes the envelope pushes back hard. Includes dangerous slope falls, bone-breaking jumps, and outrageous ski wrecks. Its fast and funny footage 15 years in the making, now assembled for your demented pleasure.

Transpack SKI Convertible Bag 185cm Black $89.95 The Transpack SKI Pro Convertible ski bag is a padded single ski bag that converts into a ski double bag, within seconds. The Transpack SKI Pro Convertible Ski Bag includes a zippered gusset. By unzipping the gusset, the bag expands to accommodate two pairs of skis. Constructed of durable 600 Denier polyester, the Transpack SKI Pro Convertible ski bag protects your skis from dents and dings. Features: Convertible single/double padded ski bag Super tough, water-resistant 600 denier polyester Compression straps for load control and size adjustments Heavy duty, double-locking, self-repairing nylon coiled zippers Shoulder strap/hand straps Internal zipper pocket for personal items Industrial strength material and components Item code: 8250 View our full line of Transpack Bags.

Transpack SKI Convertible Bag 185cm Red $89.95 The Transpack SKI Pro Convertible ski bag is a padded single ski bag that converts into a ski double bag, within seconds. The Transpack SKI Pro Convertible Ski Bag includes a zippered gusset. By unzipping the gusset, the bag expands to accommodate two pairs of skis. Constructed of durable 600 Denier polyester, the Transpack SKI Pro Convertible ski bag protects your skis from dents and dings. Features: Convertible single/double padded ski bag Super tough, water-resistant 600 denier polyester Compression straps for load control and size adjustments Heavy duty, double-locking, self-repairing nylon coiled zippers Shoulder strap/hand straps Internal zipper pocket for personal items Industrial strength material and components Item code: 8250 View our full line of Transpack Bags.

Hotel Mar Ski $82.17 Hotel Mar Ski > > S'Abanell, 4 > Blanes > > 17300>Location. This property is located in Blanes. Area attractions include Lloret de Mar Beach. Features. In addition to a restaurant and a bar/lounge, Hotel Mar Ski features a seasonal outdoor pool and a concierge desk. The staff can arrange concierge services and tour assistance. Additional amenities include multilingual staff and air conditioning in public areas. The front desk is open 24 hours a day. Guestrooms. Bathrooms feature bidets. Notifications:Additional fees and deposits may be charged by the property at time of service, check in, or check out. >The preferred airport for Hotel Mar Ski is Gerona (GRO Costa Brava) 26.5 km / 16.5 mi. Distances are calculated in a straight line from the property’s location to the point of interest or airport and may not reflect actual travel distance. Distances are displayed to the nearest 0. 1 mile and kilometre.

Select Design (US) U.S. Ski Team Rampart Hoodie Black Medium $59.94 The US Ski Team Rampart Hoody is a heavyweight black hooded sweatshirt with the U.S. Ski Team shield logo on the front.

Thon Hotel Ski $186.66 Thon Hotel Ski > OSL > Jernbaneveien 8 > Ski > > 1400>Location. This Ski property is close to Tusenfryd. Features. Thon Hotel Ski has a restaurant and a bar/lounge. Guests are served a complimentary breakfast each morning. Business amenities include a business center, wireless Internet access, and audio visual equipment. Event facilities include conference rooms. This 3.0 star property provides an airport shuttle (surcharge). Guestrooms. Amenities featured in guestrooms include minibars and televisions. Guestrooms have cable/satellite television with pay movies. Business friendly amenities include desks and direct dial phones. Bathrooms provide hair dryers and handheld showers. Notifications:Additional fees and deposits may be charged by the property at time of service, check in, or check out. >The preferred airport for Thon Hotel Ski is Oslo (OSL Gardermoen) 54.9 km / 34.1 mi. Distances are calculated in a straight line from the property’s location to the point of interest or airport and may not reflect actual travel distance. Distances are displayed to the nearest 0. 1 mile and kilometre.

Wintersteiger 5 Pair Ski Rack $69 The Mohn Ski Rack (5 Pairs) holds 5 pr. of skis up to 101mm (4 in) wide. All Mohn racks are sturdy, unbreakable and maintenance free. The Mohn ski storage racks eliminate damage to walls and flooring. They protect the safety of children and pets from falling skis. This method of storage ensures peak performance of skis, by storing them in the correct vertical position, protecting the core of the ski. Assembly requires no tools, no drilling, no time. The Mohn racks are durable plastic and freestanding. Dimensions: Height: 12 inches Length 15 inches Width: 27 inches (feet)

KidSki Kid-Ski Universal Ski Tip Lock (ages 1-6 $17.95 The Universal Tip Lock is the long-awaited, exciting new KID-SKI product for 2006-07. It connects the ski tips together to keep them from wandering, thus offering a child more stability. Equally important, it helps kids maintain a wedge position, and the wedge is the easiest way for a young child to learn to ski - even with the new shaped skis. The new transferable Universal Tip Lock is now the state-of-the-art product for parents of kids to easily connect and disconnect the ski tips. Simply slide the aluminum mini-clamps onto the edge of the ski tips and flip the plastic cam levers closed. Thats it! To remove it, just pop open the levers, and its off. The small, lightweight Tip Lock II easily stores in a parka pocket. The Tip Lock is very light weight and low profile. There is no need to remove the Tip Lock from the skis after each outing. Just leave it on for the entire winter. Also, the Tip Lock makes a wonderful carrying device, even after a child graduates off the Tip Lock. For you multi-kid parents, you can carry 2-3 pairs of skis in one hand. Its worth the purchase price just as a carrying device. The Tip Lock will work on any childrens ski - plastic training skis, old-style straight skis and shaped/parabolic skis. USERS of PLASTIC SKIS: If you want to use the Universal Tip Lock with the Kid-Ski plastic skis weve included some "Tip Lock self-adhesive tape" to make the ski tip slightly thicker (as the plastic skis are thinner than regular skis).

Dynastar 2 Pair Ski Bag $80 The Dynastar 2-pair ski bag provides carry convenience for two pairs of skis, up to 195cm in length. Constructed of durable 600D polyester, the Dynastar 2-pair ski bag keeps your skis organized and protected when youre traveling by bus, car or train. Features: Construction: 600D Polyester, PVC Coating Length: 195cm Full zip tube style bag 2 compression straps, padded handle Product code: MD1040 View other Dynastar products.